It starts about mid-December, right after all the holiday hub-bub quiets down. Everyone seems to stop fa-la-la-la-la-ing and instead plummets all their energy into the new year. Around every corner you hear “New Year New You!” “Time to crush those New Year’s Goals!” “Uplevel! Upgrade! Up all the things!” If you’re like most people, all this screaming isn’t motivating, it’s actually incredibly overwhelming and very annoying. You totally need more people telling you what to do and what not to do, highlighting all the ways you’re failing according to them… clearly.
Here’s the funny thing – there is not one thing that usually changes on January 1st other than the date… and your mindset. Sidebar – I’m sure you know this, but New Years is a great time for marketing campaigns 😉 Granted, sometimes we actually need that starting date to forge ahead on a goal, intention, new way of being, new habit, etc. In the meantime though? All that goal-talk can be exhausting. It reminds me of election time, where you can’t view anything or go anywhere without getting socked in the face with it all 24/7. If you aren’t careful, it can really drain your energy something fierce – especially this year. Know why?
Because 2020 as a whole was so draining and exhausting for most people on a lot of levels. Who actually has the mental capacity to think about all the things you want to do, be and have in the new year, if you aren’t even sure any of those things are feasible in 2021?! Not only that, but does anyone even know what we just went through and are still going through?
Here’s my best advice. Disconnect. Hard. Now. Seriously. If I’m being totally transparent one of the things I would love for you in the new year is to get the hell off social media and tech all together (within reason of course, I realize we still need a certain degree of tech in our lives). One of the most exhausting (and toxic IMO) things you can do to yourself is subject yourself to other people’s opinions and word vomit. See the people who are resources as resources, know that they’re there, but if you’re feeling like everyone is barking orders at you (even if they aren’t) or you’re feeling completely overwhelmed and panicky…. disconnect. Cut the noise. Close it down.
That’s been one of my biggest self-care secrets. When life gets too loud or overwhelming, as it tends to do with the new year’s goal tidal wave – disconnect. Pay no mind to what anyone else is doing, focus on you. Focus on your joys and your sparks – what lights your soul up? What makes you smile and fills your body with warmth?
What if instead of doing new year’s intentions or goals, you just focused on BEING. Being present with yourself mostly. It’s a great way to get in touch with your inner navigation system to get back in touch with yourself. If you’ve been working on something and it hasn’t worked well for you and it’s still a big desire for you to change and you really don’t feel like you can do it by yourself, THEN seek out the help. The funny thing about us humans, we don’t realize that most of the time we have everything we need right inside of us and the one thing we really need to stop doing is listening to everyone else on the right way to do the thing.
Get quiet. Listen to what your soul is trying to tell you on what you really desire down deep. THEN act.
Afterall, if 2020 was any indication, plans and goals can get shot to hell in a handbag at the drop of a dime. I’m not saying don’t focus your efforts in a clearly defined way, but I am saying don’t set arbitrary goals because someone told you you should, then be a slave to them and let them exhaust your spirit. That seems like an awful way to expend your precious energy.
As a sidenote, sometimes focusing on the “stop doings” can be so much more powerful than the “new goals.”
Big love.
M.
