If you’ve been around the block long enough you’ve likely heard the term “manifestation.” What does it mean? Essentially, thinking something into creation or being. Magic. Alchemy. Law of attraction. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Call it what you want, but it boils down to the same core essence.
As I was working on a speaking engagement topic outline, I was looking at the wellbeing wheel divided into 8 parts: emotional, environmental, financial, intellectual, occupational, physical, social and spiritual. It seemed both a little overwhelming and a little…. meh.
Then I looked at the Circle of Life provided by the school I got my health coach training at, the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Their circle of life as a gauge for wellbeing included creativity, finances, career, education, health, physical activity, home cooking, home environment, relationships, social life, joy and spirituality.
Then I looked at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs which includes physiological needs (basic needs like air, food, water, sleep, etc.), safety needs (health, personal safety, employment, resources, etc.), love and belonging (friendship, intimacy, connection, etc.), esteem (freedom, respect, strength, etc.) and self-actualization (meaning, morality, creativity, etc.).
So I did what I do and I smushed them all together into one wheel, because if you deconstruct them all, they basically are all kind of the same said in different words with different graphics (hello world of self-development!). Sidebar – if you’d like a copy of what I came up with, send me a message. I’m always happy to share!)
As I was looking at this newly created wheel of wellbeing (or sustainable wellbeing as I call it) I realized there was a crucial piece missing. Sure, there were certain aspects of the existing pieces that could speak to or encompass the energy of what I felt was missing, but it didn’t stand alone on its own as an integral piece of our wellbeing or our overall happiness or fulfillment as humans.
So of course, I added it. I added it because it’s a pillar of what I base all my offerings around, but also because with so many people wondering what “the secret” to manifestation actually is (ie. how do I create the life I actually want to live?) the answer lies in this missing piece.
Can you guess what it is?
It’s fun.
No, really. It’s actually fun. Play. Not doing all the adult things. Not having any attachment to an outcome. Just doing something for the hell of it.
When we look at all these previous wellbeing structures, they all revolve around the doing. There’s nothing wrong with doing. Doing serves us. And so does being. So does play. We need both. Circling it back to the nervous system responses of fight, fright, freeze or fawn and on the opposite end you have rest and digest. Which one of these responses do you think “fun” encourages? Yep, rest and digest. Downregulating the nervous system. Pleasure settles you, grounds you, puts you into a space of love versus fear.
Fun heals.
In a previous edition of this newsletter, I wrote about this and asked the question – when was the last time you did something just for fun? Not to chase or achieve something, or for the end result, not because you had a reason to do it – but… just because you wanted to. Because it sounded FUN.
This is what I feel we’re missing as adults. You’ve likely heard the term inner child healing or maybe you follow coaches or other people who teach about how to nourish and heal the inner child. One of the things your inner child most likely wants? To have FUN. What kid doesn’t want to have fun?
And you know what us adults are really bad at? Disconnecting from the roles and responsibilities and having fun. We’re really great at locking that inner child up in a closet because we don’t have time for fun. Who has time for fun?! There’s so much to take care of!!
Anyone have abandonment issues? What if we’re actually perpetuating these issues by consistently abandoning our inner child? How much can a kid trust an adult that keeps abandoning them?
The remedy? Unlock the door. Start giving that kid what it’s craving!
What if fun lights you up? What if it makes you excited? What if it ignites that childlike spark in you? Do you remember those feelings of being excited? Chances are these are the things your inner child might be craving the most.
IIN calls these feelings primary foods. They’re the feelings that fill you up, and you kind of forget to eat actual food (secondary food) because you’re having so much fun. Remember those days as a kid? I do.
What if excitement and fun are the secrets to “manifesting” the life you want? When you REALLY want to do something, when it lights you up, when you’re so excited to get started – don’t the necessary things that are needed usually happen pretty effortlessly? Almost as if you were a magnet? And before you know it, you’ve done the thing out of pure excitement?
Bingo! Internal joy/fun/play/excitement = magnetism and manifestation. You created a physical something (like an experience) out of feeling by following inspired action.
That’s it. Excitement + clarity of vision + inspired action = creating something into being.
Think back to something that made you really excited. Like REALLY excited. Like the excited where you felt like electricity was shooting out of your body, like you just couldn’t contain yourself. Didn’t you have so much natural energy? Didn’t the world seem like a much more beautiful place? Didn’t it seem like the seemingly “bad” things didn’t have quite the impact on you and your mood as they may have otherwise?
What if “the secret” was looking through your life through the lens of “what am I excited for today?” or “what would light me up the most today?” and then expanding that into your whole life. Down the long line of your life into time. What makes you so excited to do or be?
What if… you focused more on asking yourself these questions, focusing more on what the little you from years ago loved to do?
One of the questions to help here comes from my Ignite Your Love for Your Life workshop – what are the things you loved to do as a kid? What are the things you could get lost for hours in and not even realize it?
What if your disconnect, your source for more energy and more vitality, can be found in having more fun? In being the parent to your inner child that ALLOWS time for fun, gives permission for fun, makes space for fun, creates boundaries around fun…. because it serves your entire wellbeing.
And really – pleasure solves problems. One of the best things you can do when you’re faced with a big decision, at a crossroads, trying to muscle-mind yourself into controlling and figuring things out… is disconnect from it completely.
Go have fun. Put it to the backburner for a while if possible.
Please know, that when I’m saying this to you I’m not talking about whether or not to have emergency surgery. Life hands us choices that are urgent and need to be made in the moment. But, those tend to be a rare occurrence. Most things can afford space and time to decide, to process, to look at the whole situation from a different angle.
So as we head into the weekend, can you ask yourself everyday…
“What would be the most fun to do today?”
Adulting hint…. write it on a post-it note and hang it somewhere you are every single day so you don’t forget, because with our human brains going a mile a minute every single day, fun, joy, play, excitement can easily get snuffed out by all the adulting.
But… again, what if we reframe what it means to be an adult? What if fun, joy, play and excitement can be an everyday occurance and were an active part of the journey?
This is your life, your template. You’re allowed (and encouraged) to do this human thing differently! Think of all the ways you’ll inspire people, just by being this way.
Have the best day and go have the best kind of fun!!
