Late in 2016, I had the opportunity to head to Colorado for a training that I had been dying to attend. While the training was offered in a variety of different areas, Colorado totally stood out to me. I had never been there and had always wanted to go, so I jumped at the chance. What I kind of forgot about until it got closer was the fact that I would be going totally alone. I had never traveled alone. Sure, I had taken plane rides and things by myself, but I had never been anywhere for more than a day by myself, let alone out of state…. very far away. It was both an exhilarating thought and completely terrifying. To make matters a bit more interesting, I decided to book an AirBNB in the mountains – a much more cost effective option to a hotel, and in my book, way more exciting. It was also my first AirBNB experience, why not right?

I have to tell you that the whole experience was absolutely ADDICTING. Never in my life had I felt so free. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, for how long I wanted – and guess what? If I didn’t want to do a thing I thought I wanted to do, I didn’t do it. The one thing that I was uneasy about? Going out to eat by myself. I had always been one of those people who felt bad for the people eating by themselves, especially if they were elderly. Something about it just broke my heart. I always assumed they were eating by themselves because they had no one else to eat with and how lonely they must feel. Then I turned that around on myself during this trip, thinking if I felt like that, surely other people are going to look at me like that! Cue that sinking feeling I know all too well – that feeling of contending with other people’s perceptions. The truth? I had never actually gone to a restaurant before by myself. Did I go places like Starbucks and Panera by myself and eat? Sure, but only when I had my laptop in front of me or was otherwise busy diving into whatever project I had going at the time. But I never actually purposely went to a restaurant by myself because, you guessed it, that was such a lonely feeling to me. It’s amazing how much our perceptions about how a thing may or may not feel can really scare us out of doing something.

The truth is, when I went to Colorado, I had so much fun picking out the different restaurants and foods I wanted to try. Being in that kind of environment by yourself creates this feeling of presence (when you choose it – and I say choose it meaning you choose not to be distracted by your phone or anything else). You get to observe your surroundings and because you aren’t there with anyone, you spend more time inputting energy than outputting energy through talking and engaging (especially if you’re an introvert or ambivert!). When you go into something like that with the intention that you’re going to experience all of the things this opportunity has to give you, you taste your food, you talk to your server maybe longer than you would have had you been there with someone, you watch the people around you, you check out the wall hangings and decor. You’re really THERE. It’s such a surreal experience. Now I completely understand that there are definitely people who go eat alone because they don’t really have people to go with, but then there are people who choose to go eat by themselves because they’re actually craving that nourishing time by themselves in peace. If it isn’t something you’ve ever done before, I so encourage you to try it – knowing that the first couple times may indeed be awkward. I know they were for me, it took me a bit to get in the right headspace where I didn’t feel uncomfortable. Give yourself some time and space to be open to the experience.

One thing that I got addicted to from that trip though? Solo vacations. I loved it so much that I promised myself I would travel at least once every year by myself.

So for my birthday in December, I stayed in downtown Chicago for a couple nights at an AirBNB by myself. One of the things I love so much about traveling by myself is that I don’t need to be anyone. Within the confines of my little solo-cation, I’m not a homeowner, I’m not a dog mom, I’m not a business owner. I’m just…. me, and I can completely be me in all my excitement. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I dislike any of the roles I have – I love them actually – but I’m a firm believer that every single person needs a time out of normal life to realign, regroup, and come back to center in tranquility. No work. No spouse/significant other. No kids. No pets. No house. No friends. Just you. You can totally blame me if you get addicted.

PS

Don’t forget to pack your Cedarwood essential oil and your diffuser – Cedarwood helps repel bugs of the bed variety, you know, just in case.

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